Aaron’s head tilted to the side, concern all over his face and chest heavy with sadness as he listened to Eric attempt to talk himself out of what he’d just said. Eyebrows raised when Eric said he would ‘ get it ’ if Aaron had been thinking, which they both knew wasn’t true. And on top of which, Aaron hadn’t. He was already feeling far too guilty for what Eric was going through for even a fleeting thought about anyone else to cross his mind. He didn’t want to think about anyone else, he just wanted things to go back to the way they were.
… Which was also not going to happen. Aaron needed to accept that. It was going to be easier to move forward if he just let that go too.
He appreciated Eric admitting that he was scared. He didn’t want this to be a fight. Aaron sighed softly, eyes closed. After a quick pause, hands gently moving to rest on Eric’s shoulders. ❝You aren’t an idiot. You should bring things up if they’re bothering you. If not just so that I can reassure you that you’re the love of my life. You have nothing to be scared about. Not when it comes to me and you.❞ Aaron shrugged a shoulder. ❝I know we haven’t been on the same page very much at all, and I know that’s an understatement. I want to get back on the same page. Or start a new page. Whatever. I just know that I want it with you.❞
eric was quite sure that , had aaron not been kind enough to reach out , he would have shot RIGHT THROUGH the ceiling in an attempt to a v o i d going any further with their conversation . somehow they’d managed to come full circle , settling right back into sad discomfort . momentary lust forgotten as the universe seemed determined to have them hash their problems out , to finish things ONE WAY OR ANOTHER .
face turning slightly , eric was able to press a kiss to aaron’s hand , cheek lingering on knuckles for a moment before he straightened back up . he didn’t want to move , didn’t want aaron’s hands anywhere other than where they already were but he had a feeling that WHATEVER they wound up talking about , the conversation would last long enough to warrant sitting down .
throwing a glance back at the bed eric would s i g h , an eye roll gracing his face as he gave in to what was O B V I O U S L Y going to happen . taking aaron’s hand in his own , BACK TO BED they went .
❝ i think our new page already started , ❞ eric began , gently lowering himself onto ruffled comforter . legs formed a p r e t z e l as he settled in , a pillow hugged tight to his chest . ❝ it may not be what either of us expected or wanted , but this is what we have now maybe we just had it TOO easy for t o o long . i mean , think about it . have we ever REALLY disagreed about anything ? small things , sure , but something like this ? everything that happened was new , and maybe it could have been handled better , but we … we just didn’t know how . ❞ && maybe that was okay , as long as they were both willing to acknowledge it , instead of pretending it wasn’t the case .
❝ i felt p r e s s u r e d by you for a while , but when it came down to it and it was time to r e a l l y make a choice , that was all ME . you didn’t , and honestly couldn’t , M A K E me do anything . so you need to stop feeling GUILTY , and i need to stop throwing it in your face every time i’m in a bad mood . that’s step one . step two … we aren’t on the same page about some pretty important shit , we know that now you know what though ? we don’t HAVE to be . you and i are very different people , always have been , and that’s why we work . let’s just stick to … god this is gonna sound dumb but i’dunno how else to say it . let’s make sure we’re always in the same book , but fuck trying to be on the same page . ❞
a whirlwind of nothing . word after word after word , none of which eric was sure had actually meant anything . it felt g o o d though , FREEING to just speak to aaron again . it almost felt like home HOME home , not just the manufactured coziness of alexandria .
one moment it was being squeezed to his chest for comfort , && the next would find warm pillow shifted onto eric’s lap . with a strong tug forward aaron was forced begged encouraged to lay down . ❝ and , just so it’s out there , about that OTHER thing i need you to know that i don’t … it’s not that i DON’T believe you . i do . of course i do . but for right now , just in my own head , it feels better SAFER to think of that as a possibility . even if it’s stupid and never happens , preparing for it is better than being surprised . ❞
